How to Set Yourself Up for a Happy Boo Year

From reflecting on the meaningful moments of the last twelve months, to thinking how the next twelve can bring us closer to our core values – Boo’s Happiness Ambassador considers some gentler alternatives to making New Years Resolutions.

I recently read that the festive season is an enhancer, a magnifier for whatever mental space we find ourselves in at the time. If we are happy, we are bubbling over with joy. If we are down, we tend feel worse.

No matter how content you are, no matter how great your hopes are for the coming year, the last days of December are a strange liminal time. In a way it feels as if the year ended at Christmas and now there’s a drawn out pause as we hold our breath, and wait for our new year and our new lives to begin.

And yet, it’s not really an ending – nor is it a beginning. The timing of the new year has varied throughout history and still varies geographically, but for most of the British Isles the first of January has only formally been the start of the year since 1752.

I still think first day of spring makes more sense but take that up with Julius Caesar.

January is named after the Roman god Janus, a two-faced deity with the ability to look backwards and forwards at the same time. The start of this month, therefore, is typically a time for both reflection and goal setting. We like those things at Boo so, ignoring the fact that the actual date has been all over the show, we don’t mind getting on board.

As we all (superficially) experience the turning of a page together we are swept into the optimism of our kind, and hope over experience triumphs again.

Themes of forgiveness and atonement mingle with our pledges for self improvement, which we make knowing that our resolutions are statistically more likely to fail than succeed. This is for a number of reasons.

Three reasons why our new years resolutions fail

January can be a dark, impoverished and bleak month, Change is often uncomfortable and hard and we’re not necessarily prepared for more discomfort in January.
The resolutions we set for ourselves tend to be sweeping and abrupt, rather than specific and set to a planned timeline of small tasks.
We pick things we think we want without examining the reasons why we want them

Likewise, when we follow Janus’s other face and look back on our year, we might tend to see the things we didn’t do. Our review can turn into wallowing – in our disappointments, mistakes, regrets and missed opportunities.

Quite a lot of us are limping from the effects of a cost of living crisis and anxious about world events that have affected us – we might not have the energy to celebrate big wins and plan more big wins for 2024.

Looking Back

In her podcast ‘Reflect and Dream‘. Self-help author Beth Kempton has some suggestions for gentle reflection on the year just past. Here are some of my favourites.

10 Questions for Gentle Reflection

What moments have really mattered to you in the past year?
What moments have brought you into contact with beauty?
What was the best day of the year and what made it such a good day?
How did you grow during the last twelve months?
What did this year teach you about yourself?
What did this year teach you about the world?
Where did you bring light to the darkness to someone this year?
What unexpected blessings did the year bring to you?
When did you show courage this year?
What would you like to release/leave behind?

Looking Forward

6 Alternatives to a Traditional Set of Resolutions.

Retrospective Visualisation

This is an exercise similar to one we use in coaching, when we imagine we’ve reached our goal and we describe what success looks and feels like. You can use this free retrospective visualisation resource as a guide.

New Year Bucket List

I’ve not made resolutions in at least a decade. Instead I’ve made a bucket list of things I wanted to see, do and experience in the year ahead. I’d cross reference this with my friends’ lists we’d get out our diaries and make plans. During the pandemic lockdowns these things changed somewhat from ‘visit France’ to ‘visit some bluebells’ . You can make your list on whatever scale is desirable and achievable for you.

Alternatively, you could simply think of three things you’re looking forward to this year.

Self Compassion Check in

You could take the New Year as an opportunity to check in with yourself. To recognise where you’re at, and acknowledge what emotions you’re feeling. Helen’s written a short guide here.

Align with your Values

For a more meaningful set of resolutions that connect with your ‘why’, you could align your hopes for the next year with your core values. (If you don’t know what those are yet, these cards can help you.)

You might want more inner peace, more adventure, more security, more creativity in next twelve months. Your pledge for the year could just be to always choose the path that brings you closer to your values.

Use a ‘Nudge Word’

Here’s an interesting article by Tara Parker Pope on choosing a ‘nudge word’ for the year. For example, you choose a word like ‘growth’ ‘connect’ ‘nourish’ ‘gratitude’. she groups them by words of reflection, change and connection. I like this idea and I think I’m going to use the word ‘appreciate’.

6 ideas for small and simple resolutions.

This year I will…

Make a small difference in my community
Learn something new
Prioritise sleep
Reduce my waste
Practise gratitude
Spend as many days of the year as I can following Action for Happiness Calendars

Create resolutions by all means, but they don’t need to be tied to a specific date dictated by tradition. Create them when you’re ready to experience change, and from a place of love and hope – not driven by guilt, fear or shame.

How to Set Yourself Up for a Happy Boo Year