I once started a sentence with ‘I’m not a feminist but…’ – Thoughts from Amy on International Womens Day

I once started a sentence with ‘I’m not a feminist but…’ – Thoughts from Amy on International Womens Day

I once started a sentence with ‘I’m not a feminist but…’

…and was comprehensively shot down by a Chartered Building Surveyor. I can’t even remember what he said, but I remember how it made me feel. Foolish, largely.  I listened in silence and later, wondered why I’d said it.

I’d said it, because I have internalised misogyny. I expect there aren’t many of us who don’t.

That was one watershed moment for me. Another watershed moment for me was taking on my former employers in a sex discrimination and maternity discrimination tribunal. Even though it was my lived reality, it was hard to get my head around the perpetrators being mostly women. Thanks to them, I was awarded enough money to renovate a lovely new home with a nice big kitchen – for my husband to cook in.

And then I came to work for Boo.

I’d already been on the Assure programme – specifically for women – setting health and wealth goals for the year. Dizzy with new motherhood, it felt good to be amongst inspiring women with vulnerabilities of their own. I was uplifted by this celebration of womanhood that I’d never really felt before.

Rewind back to 2007 when for a while I found myself as a farm labourer on a small holding in Australia. I still can’t quite believe it but I helped to build a patio. One day I was tasked with mixing concrete, and after expressing doubts about my ability to do so – due to my gender – the woman of the house looked me right in the face and said ‘you can do anything. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t.’

I’ve never forgotten the intensity with which she spoke, however, the problem was that the task in hand did not play to my strengths. I did not realise I had to plug in the concrete mixer….

Back to Boo. The difference at Boo is that I am not an empowered women trying to succeed at something generally seen as a male activity (like, arguably, building a patio). I am part of a team of women – yes – earning a living as part of a successful business, but doing so in an unashamedly feminine way. Our colours are purple and pink. Our office is pretty and it smells nice. We use love heart emojis. We use words like ‘caring’ a lot. We celebrate the soft skills we each have in abundance.

I can be my authentic self at work. I am encouraged to play to my unique strengths.

It was only when working for Boo that I realised how lucky I am to have a part time role that I enjoy, that is well paid, that is at my skill level, that is close to where I live and also flexible. It’s rare for a company to be so good at facilitating the integration of parenthood and work.

And it was only when working for Boo that my feminism really began to flourish. I wish I could have a conversation with that building surveyor now and say, thank you. And look at me! I work for a trailblazing female-led business, I’m the chair of my local Maternity Voices Partnership, helping to amplify women’s voices and I’m a trustee of WHAG, a charity supporting women at risk of homelessness and domestic abuse. I am also a member of the GM Women and Girls Equality Panel, helping to accelerate gender equality and enable women and girls to live their best life in Greater Manchester.

I’m never again going to start a sentence with “I’m not a feminist but…”

 

Amy