Parenting is Leadership

Sometimes the most important application of coaching and leadership skills happen outside of the workplace (says Amy, Happiness Ambassador).

My two year old wanted to do the washing. We bought one with a child lock, but he could still turn the power off, and this he would often do – typically right near the end of a cycle. When admonishment fell on deaf little ears, I changed tack and started to allow him to help with the laundry and a miraculous thing happened – he stopped sabotaging it. His desire for independence and need to press buttons were sated and he was invested in a positive outcome.

This one particular day he was absolutely insistent on doing a wash load. He could see the basket was overflowing, but I knew it was forecast to rain and had already planned to wait until the following day when it was due to be warm and dry. He was already unloading it into the drum. I tried to stop him, tears erupted. I decided to relinquish control. It was worth the quid or two to put the dryer on in May to let him have his moment.

I watched him put the clothes in so deliberately and efficiently – more carefully than I do – tucking in each item so it didn’t get caught by the door. When he could no longer reach far enough inside the laundry basket, he tipped it of his own accord and crawled in.

I could tell he needed assistance with the detergent – but I tried to intervene as little as possible. He spilt a little powder into the wrong drawer and I was about to swoop when he carefully pushed it into place, on tiptoe, stretching to peep in.

Door closed, cycle selected, machine started, hands washed, job done – and done well. He didn’t interfere until it was all washed. As it happened, the sun shone all day so it was dried in no time – his decision was right, and I was wrong.

I thought this was a good analogy for leadership. I didn’t cling to control. I trusted my son with an appropriate level of risk, allowed him to make and recover from mistakes and gave him permission to disagree in a supportive environment. In return he felt the satisfaction of doing something that mattered to him and – it turns out – he was very good at it. He had a voice, a choice and a chance to act.

Sometimes, leadership means stepping back, trusting the process, and letting someone else press the buttons.

Amy X

A bold, values-led look at how Boo Coaching & Consulting supports working parents.

Parenting is Leadership